Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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