What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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knock knock? come in

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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