Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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