So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

Yes

woman's rights

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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