Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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