Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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Barack Obama.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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