Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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