What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops