Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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the sky is green no it is not

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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