Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

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http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/355988-gay_marriage.jpg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops