What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops