What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops