call me maybe.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops