roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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