Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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Why can't Mich Jackson draw a perfect circle? Because he's dead.

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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