I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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hi jonny

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What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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