Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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hi

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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He--Hey guys

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops