Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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4 hours later.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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