Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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