How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

thumb_up thumb_down +3

getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock who`s there me oh come in

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops