A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Albert <3 Hunter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Santa isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops