What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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