Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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woman's rights

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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whats long and black? a baton

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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