what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

Who wants water? I do.

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...