what's funny about war? nothing!

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops