what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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What happens after you go to school? (you tell me, i'm only in 6th grade)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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