Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

What's the new green? Green

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

u know whats a crime? rape

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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