What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

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You are joking right?

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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