Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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