Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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womens rights.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops