My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

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Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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Women's rights

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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