Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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