What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

I <3 Hitler

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

what looks like a banana? a penis

A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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