A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops