Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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