What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops