I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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why dont they make black forks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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