How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops