Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

What's 9 + 10 19 AB

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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