If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Wolfjob.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Womans baksetball...

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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