you dint have to be a jew matt

How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

hey guys im gay

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

fridge

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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