What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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How many napkins does it take to tack to the moon? Purple, snakes don't have elbows

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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I love you

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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25

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Knock knock! Who's there? IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY HOUSE!!!! *closes door*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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