Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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