What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Justin Bieber

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops