roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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Why didn't he finish his

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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