how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Your girlfriend.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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