Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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