A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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