A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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Yellow People !!

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Ready for something funny? nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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