Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops