What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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I'm Polish.

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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