Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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