A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

Why are you gay? Because ***** you

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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