2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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lets bomb africa

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops