Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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