Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

knock knock Dave's not here.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

What's a good joke? Not this one.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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