A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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