Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

Death by kayak

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

Andoni was here

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

womens rights.

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...