What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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ugvvvvvv

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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